The 5 Reason That Cause Women To Settle!

I work in Finance and I work with 6 guys and as the only female, they have tagged me "The Female Boss on a Mission", reason best known to them. We all get along so well and chat alot and talk generally about life, relationship etc. So the other day one of my work colleague ask me why I'm not in a rush to get married, even at my age.... I was shocked, like seriously.......What a question;

He then ask if I don't get any pressure based on the fact that my friends and cousins are getting married; my response was Im not in a rush because I don't want to get married for the wrong reasons. He then said NO its because I'm too picky.(Eyes Rolling)

Well a lot of women are being too picky but aren't the majority quick to settle with someone who isn’t good enough for them?” And he’s right. However ‘settling’ is not the sole practice of the females, men settle too, crucially the difference is found in how men and women behave after they settle.


On the other hand when a woman settles she will justify her choice by claiming
a) We just don’t understand ‘him’ and he’s a good person really that he’s going to change. As a result when this woman’s mother, siblings and closest friends (justifiably) express their frustration and anger over her choice of partner she will probably dump them and not him.

I am fully aware that when a woman is determined to settle nothing (that includes cheating, violence and mental abuse) will change her mind until she comes to the personal realisation that she deserves more.

I thought I’d enlighten my readers to the top 5 reasons that cause women to settle.


1) It’s a Number Game...

As there are more women than men in the world inevitably we have a situation where there is an excessive demand for good men but a limited supply. As such a woman who is attractive, educated, intelligent, employed actually depletes the number of men available to her.

And it’s not because there aren’t enough men that embody these traits but it’s one of the cruel facts of life that the more successful a woman is the more bat shit she attracts. So it’s all in the numbers. Most of the good men have already been snapped up or have the awareness that they are rare commodities and are unwilling to be tied down.


2) She Likes the drama...

Perfect/good/normal men are boring. And there’s nothing wrong with being boring. Boring is a good thing. I like the fact that my blood pressure is boringly normal, some things just don’t need to be exciting. However some women love excitement and drama. Therefore they’d rather settle and be in a toxic relationship than be in a functional (boring) partnership.


3) The Messiah Complex...

Just as many men are attracted to crazy women, many women are attracted to damaged men. Whilst I have never met a man who has tried to rehabilitate a crazy woman, I have met countless women who engage in the Sisyphean task of trying to change a damaged man. Some say it’s because such women are naturally altruistic but I think it’s because they have Messiah complexes. Memo to the women who like to ‘save the day’- save yourself first.


4) Insecurity...

I actually wasn’t going to include this factor because it’s so cliché. You know how it is, the overweight, overpaid, overstupid American talk show host says to an overweight, unemployed and equally stupid guest ‘Girl you need to love yourself can’t you see you’re beautiful? Stop being so insecure you can do better than him girl!’


5) The (bitter) single friend/relative..

Let me give you a social fact. In every single family and female clique there is a woman who is perpetually single and very bitter about it. If you don’t believe me then the chances are you are that woman or too closely related to that woman to recognise her plight.

Becoming ‘that’ single woman is every woman’s nightmare. And it’s not that women are afraid of being single….but they’re afraid of being labelled the bitter single one. Ergo even if he cheats, steals and has a weed habit that means he finishes all the food in the fridge she’ll stick around because ‘at least I’m not Chardonnay’.

Love Life

Olori Amope xx
Follow me on twitter @oloriamope

12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget

Majority of us forget the truth about relationship, and this sometimes makes your relationships more complicated than they are. After reading different articles and books, I gathered few things together, Here are simple reminders to help you keep them on track.

1) All successful relationships require some work. – Successful relationships don’t just happen, or maintain themselves. They exist and thrive when the parties involved take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their minds and hearts. Open communication and honesty is the key.

2) You get what you put in. – most of the time, you get what you put in your relationship, If you want love, give love. If you want friends, be friendly. If you’d like to feel understood, try being more understanding. It’s a simple practice that works.

3) You shouldn't have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. – Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they know your worth, they will create one for you. I always say to people never make someone your priority when you're only an option to them, if they know you're worth it they will make you their number one.

4)There is a purpose for everyone you meet. – People come into our life for different reasons and purpose, Some people will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you; but most importantly some will bring out the best in you. Learn to see and accept the differences between these people, and carry on accordingly.

5) We all change, which is only normal – Our needs change with time. When someone says, “You’ve changed,” it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes it just means you stopped living your life their way. Don’t apologize for it. Instead, be open and sincere, explain how you feel, and keep doing what you know in your heart is right.

6)You are in full control of your own happiness. – happiness Is a choice you make , If your relationship with yourself isn’t working, don’t expect your other relationships to be any different. Nobody else in this world can make you happy. It’s something you have to do on your own. "And you have to create your own happiness first before you can share it with someone else. If you feel that it’s your partner’s fault, think again, and look within yourself to find out what piece is missing. "happiness is a choice you make".

7) Learn to forgive.. – Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life. (read post: letting go of the past")

8) You cannot change people; they can only change themselves. – Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example. If there’s a specific behavior someone you love has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows what you need them to do.

9) Arguments are a waste of time. – The less time you spend arguing with the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you. And if you happen to find yourself arguing with someone you love, don’t let your anger get the best of you. Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.

10) You are better off without some people. – When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you. If someone continuously mistreats you or pushes you in the wrong direction, have enough respect for yourself to walk away from them. It may hurt for a little while, but it’ll be ok. You’ll be ok, and far better off in the long run.

11) Small gestures go a long way. – Honour your relationships in some way every chance you get. Every day you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by making small gestures to show your appreciation and affection. Remember, making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. Your kindness and gratitude matters.

12) Even the best relationships don’t last forever. – People don’t live forever. Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you. You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you. And remember, just because something doesn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.


Love Life
OloriAmope x

Ten Signs You Need To Leave A Relationship.

Over the time and talking from experience, ;) I have come to realise that many women and men stay in relationships even though they know they're undervaluing themselves by being there. Sometimes they’re undervaluing themselves because the other person isn't good enough or the other person genuinely can’t handle the rights and responsibilities that come with a relationship. One of the most popular phrases that people use to conclude their relationship post mortem is…..

"The signs were there early on but I ignored them" or "looking back I wish i had listened to so so person (e.g your then selfish friend)

Signs you need to leave a relationship.....unless you want it to end disastrously....!

1) They tell you they don't want to commit: " We can't take this further because I'm not ready for what you really want" so you can be in the relationship but no commitment!

2) They tell you they don't want a relationship: so why are you there?

3) All your closest friends and family have concluded they're the anti-christ.

4) You're tired of trying to change them: you can't change a person, only God can.

5) You're trying to change them: don't even try it because it won't work.

6) They told you they're not ready even at the settling down age.

7) You have massive doubts that you channel by biting your nails and screaming at the homeless.

8) Women:- They make you cry (weekly)
Men: - They cause you utter the words "I hate me" (daily)

9) You've split up and made up so many times that everybody including you is confused with your relationship status.

10) You know it’s going nowhere and definitely going no where.
My dear RUN!



Love Life
Olori Amope xx

Beauty Pageant Contestant Wobbling On High Heels.

Miss Ivory Coast 2012 beauty pageant took place recently, unfortunately for one of the contestant her high heels had other plans for her. In as much as I felt pity for this contestant at the same time I cant help but laugh.

Funny Nigerian Girl Sings Nigerian National Anthem (Must watch-So hilarious)

A break away from life issues and inspirational talk, here is something I stumbled on which believe me will make you LOL. Well I found it hilarious so I decided to share it.