Thankful - I reflected looked back & realized how blessed I am.

                                              Thankful, Grateful and Blessed.

I went out for a drink with a friend of mine after not seeing each other for like 2 years, (blame it on life). We talked about a whole lot of things like what we’ve been up to in the last 2 years, most especially, our individual experiences. He spoke to me and tried to make me reason differently on a number of things and I learnt quite a lot from him and was greatly motivated by his words. We both talked about the very sensitive word LOVE, touching on God’s love, what love should mean, and how love should be interpreted.
One of the things he said to me was that love needs to be beyond the physical and should be spiritual; love should be self-sacrificing and never-ending, should be everything that's different from what we see in our society today and should be identical to how our God loves us.

So who do you love the most in this world.?

My natural response was "my brother of course", followed by my mother, father, nephew etc in that order. (Lol) and then my darling friend laughed and said to me, “The person you love most in this world is YOU!”.  

Well In my opinion, loving yourself greatly before anybody else hinders you from being able to show the kind of love God showers on us. If we cannot love like God, then we can at least try to make the other person smile. Going out of your way to see someone else smile is not a very common act in our society these days and it doesn't make us too friendly. God loves those that show love to the common man without expecting anything in return but a smile.

Family and friend are people that should love you, encourage you against all odds, be there for you when you need them, and ensure that you don't doubt their place in your life. So after our conversation, I found out that whilst moping complaining and feeling rejected, I actually have that one very special friend that has taken the place of ten friends in my life. A friend that understands you without judging, whilst at the same time helping you become a better version of you. It took a conversation about the love of God to realize it, but I do know now that I am genuinely loved, not just by my family, or friends that are selfless in all accounts, but I am genuinely loved by God, His love for me top that of family or friends and He constantly remains merciful and faithful me.

I would like to encourage someone today that God loves you, regardless of who you are or what your circumstances are, everything you lack, and your limitations, your expectations, your dreams, your brokenness…..everything is like an open book before God. Remember His word that says "we should not be anxious about anything but in thanksgiving through prayer and petition let your request be made known to Him". God has engraved you and I on the palms of His hands simply because of His genuine and unending love for us.  Do you understand the meaning of that word ‘engrave’, it simply means you cannot take it out. Once it is engraved, it is the part of the skin and there is no way to separate both. Remember your life with all its boundaries are constantly viewed by God, you’re His precious child, He loves you and He sees every moment of your life.  So stand up tall, wear a crown, count your blessing and be thankful.

Until Next time… you are loved, blessed and highly favored.

Vida Amorosa

Olori Amope xx

The Only Woman or The Second Fiddle - Chronicles of a Philandering Man!

Some men can and will try to get into a relationship with you when they're openly and obviously married, I should know; it happened to me. Being married doesn’t mean a man or woman will not find others attractive, however, it is the respect for his/her spouse, marriage, in some cases spiritual beliefs, and having control over his/her sexual urges that will prevent a man or woman from acting on these feelings of attraction. Not many men who are married wear their wedding rings, so sometimes it’s not easy to know if a man is taken and some men simply do not want to disclose that they are married. Some women also hide the fact that they are married, although to a lesser extent than the men. But why do people, especially men, purposefully conceal that they are legally attached to someone else?

Much research has been done on infidelity to give explanation for the reasons why people cheat and lie to the other woman or other man about the state of their marriage. I won't try to give credence to the reasons why men or women cheat, however, women are notorious for believing lies that married men tell them. They take every word like it's the gospel of Matthew only to be disappointed in the end. We all know that not every marriage is a happy one, a man who is unhappily married can meet a woman whom he genuinely wants in his life, but he knows the moment he tells her he is married she will walk so he purposefully hides the fact that he is married because he knows that no level-headed woman relishes the thoughts of playing second fiddle to another woman’s man. Although he’s in an unhappy situation at home, this kind of behavior is actually selfish because the other person is unaware that they are in an emotionally risky situation. They are blindly investing in a relationship that might not go where they are hoping it will go.

In spite of all these seemed impossible chances of having a future with married men, why are there still so many gullible women who still believe them? I guess one of the possible reasons is that they are unaware of the lies some married men tell.

1. He told you he WAS married.
This is understandable, right? No! Some women (including me at one point) believe that if a man is separated or "going through a divorce," then it is fair game. Sorry to burst your bubble: It is not. If there’s no evidence of paperwork, then sorry there shouldn’t be a romantic relationship. Period! And even if he's in the process of divorce, there's a very good chance the both of them (him and his wife) may decide to work it out. So in my opinion, if he's truly separated, as he said and proven, then give him time to heal and enjoy his new single status before rushing in to a relationship with him or making things official.

2. He always wants to come over your house.
If the dude wants to come over to your house more often than not, then he's afraid of being caught by either you or the wife, this isn’t just about logistics; it's also about guilt. We women, we leave clues to our presence e.g. hair pins, earrings, hair bubbles, which are relatively unseen by men but noticeable to us. Men are aware of this fact, so they’d rather not take the risk by simply never allowing you to sleep over.

3. You can’t ever stay over at his place.
I knew a guy who came up with every story imaginable, from claiming he has a live-in nanny, to claiming it’s too early to meet the children, to his mother lives with him and he had not told her yet. You need to also start scratching your head if you notice that you can only stay over on certain nights or never stay at all, as it may suggest a wife or girlfriend is not home or might have travel for work.

4. You’re always go on last-minute dates.
We would agree that some men justifiably don’t know how to plan ahead, but then again if dude plans things at the last minute every time you go on a date, then sorry love, you're his second (or third) priority, oh and Think well about all the dates you two have been on. Have you ever noticed that you’re hanging out a lot at bars, or café? Well this is a red flag for many reasons.

5. He is always doing "family activities."
Had to LOL on this one! One very good excuse married men try to use endlessly is their children. No woman wants to be blamed of being insensitive to time he spends with his children right? This is why it’s the perfect excuse. If he's always cancelling or changing plans claiming its something to do with the children it’s time to think about who else is waiting for his arrival.

Some married men are bored and they need distractions; they want someone who can ease up their tensions. They are not looking for relationships; they are not looking for “you and me forever,” they just want someone to play around with, at the end of the day; they go home to the people that matters to their life, and that is not you. If you are involved with a married man and have managed to deceive yourself into thinking it is going somewhere, well think again. Some married men are just devious, wicked creatures. They will tell you everything and anything under the sun to make you believe that you have a future with them. When in fact, only 3% of philandering married men will leave their wives for their mistresses... this means that you have a 3% chance of a “happy ending,” that’s a very slim chance.  

So if you've heard these famous lies listed above, you have "taken the bait" hook, line and sinker. Trust me; the relationship is heading nowhere other than a place called hell. In fact, the vast majority of married men never leave their wives. However, he will continue to string you along for as long as you stay on board. It's time for you to get off now! Break it off; don't accept his phone calls, text messages or his Facebook messages. Leave him alone.

Until Next Time Remember the Golden Rule: No Paperwork - meaning Divorce Papers - No Play.

Vida Amorosa

Olori Amope xx