Forgiveness - The Sensible & Healthy Choice.

Forgiveness is a vital aspect of life, be it in relationships, friendships, or in our day to day activities. We should always learn to forgive regardless of how we have been wronged after all, to err is human and to forgive is divine! I used to marvel at how someone could forgive another who had deeply hurt them, then I had an experience that helped me see the pathway to forgiveness and understand how important it is to my health.
“Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil."
Don’t fret; I am not going to start quoting the Bible to give you unending reasons why you should forgive. Forgiveness is a choice so I'll leave that choice to you, whilst at the same time, hoping you make the sensible one. See you need to realize that forgiveness actually begins and ends with you, not the person at fault. You have to be prepared to accept and come to terms with whatever it is you're mad about, only then can you open up your heart to forgive. Anger is one of the most vicious emotions we humans have, alongside love, jealousy, obsession, possessiveness, and hatred. Most times, anger affects our physical well-being and health in various ways and makes us totally irrational, if not destructive and most importantly anger generally affects our decisions.

What I have come to realize is that angry people are more vulnerable to sin and making the wrong decisions, so the earlier you forgive, the better for you to let go and that way, you can avoid your anger transmitting into depression, hostility, self-pity or snide remarks that may end up hurting more people around you than you anticipate! So in other to avoid these, try not to let the sun go down on your anger and try to resolve whatever upsets you before going to bed. Does it matter whether we forgive or not, after-all there’s nothing wrong with holding on to anger, hurt and desire for revenge?  well, According to cardiologist Dave Montgomery “If you have a destructive reaction to anger, you are more likely to have heart attacks,” anger has been said to trigger heart attacks, accelerate coagulation that causes pain, increases the total cholesterol of the body, and may lead to death as we are often not in control of ourselves while angry, which means there’s a powerful connection between being able to forgive and our health and happiness.

The holy books did not preach against anger although it preaches against the sin we may commit whilst angry. Jesus Christ had His moments of anger, and it is in the holy books the only difference is that his anger did not stop him from winning souls, spreading the gospel, healing people, and being a gentle soul. As a matter of fact, God himself (who is without sin), is said to have gotten angry a few times in the bible, yet, He forgives us...  so who are you and who am I to hold a person in debt of their mistakes (especially when we know the possible risks our anger can trigger). Forgiveness is a choice and should be principal. You can choose to forgive, move on, and live in peace and happiness; or you can choose to remain angry, and throw away the good the Lord has blessed you with via your anger. Making mistakes is a regular part of life, nonetheless you should never allow yourself to be held back by your mistakes nor should you allow another pay for their mistakes forever!

I was an emotional wreck after my own experience, however, only after I made the decision to forgive was I able to have peace and live a fully healthy life again. See it is very possible to be happy again, you need to overcome and go on to be happy and you can only do this by leaving behind your past and therefore improving your well-being. Perhaps you have been the victim or someone had offended you or maybe there is something in your life for which you need to forgive yourself.  I guarantee you can find peace and happiness in your life by forgiving yourselves or others, letting go of your past and moving forward.  No one can do it for you, only you can.  It wasn’t easy for me, but I found that by forgiving, I was refusing to allow what happened to have power over me and that was the most powerful and healthy choice I could make.
So, for the love of God and for your own welfare, comfort and happiness I beseech you to forgive whoever has trespassed against you or wronged in any way, forgive yourself of everything as the Lord himself forgives you of your sins, leave your past behind and move forward.  

Until next time…. Forgiveness is Divine!

Vida Amorosa
Olori Amope xx

Seeing People Through The Eyes of Love.

“Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy or boast and is not proud. Love honors others selflessly and is forgiving, keeping no record of wrongs done. Love rejoices in the Truth, protecting, trusting, hoping and enduring”. See 1 Corinthians 13:4

We usually judge people based on appearance without knowing their story etc…  (I personally I have been a victim) I wonder why? I am a living proof, I have been judge so many times by people but sometimes I look at them shook my head and say "if only you know a tiny bit of my story".
We haven’t walked in their shoes, we don’t know the struggles they’ve been through, we don’t know their background challenges or circumstances! All we know and see is that “I don’t know why they act that way”…etc. The truth is, there is a reason why people are the way they are! If we took the time to know their story, we would be much more forgiving. If we understood the battles that they’ve fought or are fighting, the pain they’ve endured/are enduring, the people that have done them wrong, we would give them a lot more mercy. We wouldn’t be critical because they went through and got a divorce, or they went through and messed up their relationship or they’ve ignored you or are unfriendly, or because they’ve got an addiction… You don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes; you don’t know the stress that they are under.

Side Bar: Proverbs 15:4 “A gentle tongue brings healing”. Bring healing, not judgment on people.

Sometimes, we judge people based on the experiences that we’ve been through. It’s easy to say: “I wouldn’t have done this/that; I wouldn’t have gotten a divorce/smoked/, I wouldn’t even have married/dated that person so I wouldn’t even have gotten a divorce or broken up like he/she did.” But I always say to people before you judge that person, have you walked in his/her shoes? Do you know what he/she has been through or is going through? Would you have known what you would have or have not done if you have not walked in their shoes? What gives you the right to judge how that particular person should live or should have lived their life? You have not gone through the same experiences so don’t jump into conclusion. We all have strengths and weaknesses, we are strong in certain areas, not because we’re great or we decided to be strong, but because of the Grace of God in our lives.

When we understand people’s story it can change our perspective and we overlook a lot of their faults. Everyone has the right of a bad day this world is full of people that need someone who understands. We can either see them through the eyes of judgment – be hard/harsh or see them through eyes of love, eyes of mercy, and eyes of understanding. The real fact is “The way you see other people is the way they are going to see you”. The same seeds that you are sowing, you will reap.
One of the greatest traits that we can develop is to “believe the best in people”. We can all criticize and see faults in others, People are human, they all make mistakes (and so do you). They are all going to do things that we don’t understand. But just as the Bible/Quran says, Love overlooks the other person’s faults. Love makes room for weaknesses, Love doesn’t magnify a mistake. Instead of taking comments, criticisms and bad things that people do to you personally, make allowances, show mercy, do what you can to show love. When you see people through eyes of love your whole perspective changes… rather than seeing challenges, you see opportunities this is because you see the possibilities and potential in people and situations, instead of the limitations. Love brings healing and forgiveness.  It transforms hurt, fear, and conflict into harmony.  But it starts with you…

Sidebar: There is always a behind story. God put them there so that you can love them back into wholeness.

The challenge now, is to start seeing people through the eyes of Love. Instead of being critical and instantly writing them off, take time out to get to know them, find out what they are all about. God puts people in our lives not to be judged, but so that we can help bring healing. Every time we show mercy, every time we overlook a fault, every time we give people the benefit of a doubt, we’re bringing hope, restoration, healing to them.
Until Next Time….. Don’t be part of the problem, be part of the solution.

Love Life & Sunshine :)
Olori Amope xx